Your Unifier Allies

My mother abandoned us when I was little. Though my father wanted to do right by his five children, he couldn’t. He often got overwhelmed and disappeared for days, blowing his money on gambling and leaving me (the oldest) in charge of my younger siblings. I had no choice but to grow up fast and accept more responsibility than a boy should have to do.

As a young man, I wrote off all women, entered the work force, and naturally gravitated towards positions of leadership. People tended to trust me, and I preferred to be at the helm, even if it was the helm of a sinking ship. Time after time, no matter how good a job or organization looked on the outside, I managed to misjudge it. My higher-ups either disappeared or dropped the ball, my staff rarely knew what to do, and I’d be left picking up the slack.

Then I’d go through it all again somewhere else. I saw the same mess everywhere. In politics, in religion, in the economy. In love. Leaders were abandoning the people, and people were abandoning themselves and each other. And no one seemed to care. I distrusted everyone.

Until one day, a woman walked into my life that did care. Though she came from an indigenous background, completely different from my own, there was something strangely familiar about her. I liked her smell, and was immediately drawn into her world. She had an uncanny ability to trust—not just the trees, rivers and birds, but people. Me. She helped me see the perfect irony of my life, and how my childhood story was repeatedly interfering with my life, but in different disguises.

As soon as I saw the pattern, it began to change. My distrustful heart opened and for the first time in my life, I let a woman into my heart. As I surrendered to our intimacy, I developed quite a nose for people. More and more kindred spirits entered my life. Soon I was invited to work and live inside of a community that was capable of synchronistic and seamless forms of collaboration. I had never known this kind of joy or Teamwork. All participants contributed what they loved most; everyone shared the burden of responsibility. And much more often than not, things went smoothly. Now I know the true experience of belonging.