What does it actually mean to transform your Shadows? How do you do it?
Begin with a Gene Key. The best at the beginning is to take your Life’s Work. Read it, think about it. Look for the Shadow in the world. See it at work in the world. Then apply it to your inner life. How does it show up? What is your personal response to it? How does it make you feel? You needn’t make yourself tense. Just observe. Then just hold the energy of that Shadow and contemplate it. The next time you feel uncomfortable – maybe physically, maybe emotionally, maybe mentally, think how that Shadow might be responsible. Apply your intellect to the problem. Apply your imagination. Explore it inside you. Trust your intuition. Spend as long as you need on this process until your life shows you how the Shadow works inside you.
The process may be quick for some people. For others it may take weeks or even months. Be patient. The longer you have to wait, the greater the insight will be. Once you identify with the Shadow, then you begin phase 1 of transforming it.
Often the first stage of an emotional breakthrough is simply to see our emotional shadow pattern objectively for the first time. This may come as a shock as we realise how much of a victim we have been of that particular emotional belief. Seeing the pattern clearly then leads to the gradual dissolution of the problem as our awareness continues to chip away at that pattern. Eventually our contemplative practise completely transforms the old negative shadow and it no longer haunts us or causes us the pain it used to.
Breakthrough can come either in the form of a sudden realisation or as a steady emotional expansion as we uproot an old paradigm that has dogged us and our relationships for years. In most cases, breakthrough lasts a considerable period of time since we are letting go of patterns that formed a long time ago when we were a child. If at any time you feel overwhelmed by such inner changes brought about by your practise of contemplation, you are advised to seek out a professional therapist or counsellor who will be able to assist you as you move through this transitional period.
Allow, Accept, Embrace – the three stages of Breakthrough
Breakthrough has three distinct stages that can help us surrender more deeply into the process. These stages can also help give us a solid sense of where we are in our own emotional terrain, as well as where we are heading.
The first stage is about allowing the painful feeling. Whether the feeling is anger, fear, numbness, resentment, grief or any other emotion, the first step is to simply allow yourself to feel it. You don’t have to like it or accept it. You can even hate the feeling. To allow the feeling is to provide some space around it. Until you allow the feeling in, you are in denial of the pain and it will fester inside your psyche. The beauty of allowing is that it is so generous. It just opens the door a little, as much as we are comfortable. There is no pressure from allowing. We just take a peek at the pattern. We can even close the door again if it seems too painful. Allowing is a process in which we gradually open the door wider over a period of time.
The second stage occurs when we have done a certain amount of allowing. Acceptance occurs as we begin to get used to the discomfort. We realise that the emotional pain will not kill us. It can seem overwhelming, it can seem terrifying, it can make us feel irritated or deadened or filled with rage. As we come to accept a negative pattern, it is rather like taking in a stray dog or cat that has been abused. It takes time to rebuild trust. That hurt part of our psyche needs this acclimatisation period in which we gradually come to realise the depth of our pain. Whereas allowing makes space for all manner of feelings and extremes, acceptance brings us to a deeper and more mature place in which we are authentically facing our own pain or difficulty with love and understanding.
The final stage is embracing and it is the culmination of any breakthrough. Once an emotional shadow pattern has been fully accepted at the deepest level, it is effectively purged from our system. The painful memory that gave rise to the difficulty has been met with our deepest, most heartfelt compassion. It has been allowed to express itself without being projected onto another as blame. Neither have we in any way repressed the shadow as something shameful that we wish to forget. Over a period of time through our great courage, the pattern has been transformed, and in a beautiful twist it has become something remarkable – it has become Grace. Grace can take many forms – it can come as forgiveness, self-empowerment, humility or any other profound sense of emotional resolution. The essence of the breakthrough is that our pain reveals its true higher purpose which is to bring us a profound sense of wholeness and love.
All 3 of the above phases have their own rhythm and timing in our lives. There are no rules. Sometimes the progress seems quite slow and gradual. At other times, and with other patterns, you can move from Phase 1 to 3 with astonishing rapidity.
The most important qualities that help us in transcending our Shadow states are patience, self compassion and gentleness. This does not have to be a tense and difficult process. When you approach this work with softness, it will open up inside you like a flower. Because our society and upbringing tends to train us to become tense when faced with difficulties, these 3 precious qualities alone can change your life.
For support in personal transformation using the Gene Keys, please consider joining our global community where you will be warmly received. If you are experiencing any kind of intense emotional trauma, you are also recommended to seek professional help.